05-13-2025, 03:09 PM
I personally appreciate the raw emotion and powerful message at the heart of your poem. Your voice comes through with clarity, and your frustration is palpable—something many readers will connect with on a deep level. That said, I would echo what some others have mentioned: incorporating more poetic flair and literary devices such as metaphor, imagery, alliteration, or varied line structure could elevate the piece further. Right now, the poem reads more like a personal journal entry or a political statement (which is valid and important), but adding those poetic elements could enhance the emotional resonance and impact while still preserving the message. You clearly have something to say, and now it’s about refining how it’s said so the form matches the weight of the content