05-05-2025, 12:59 PM
(This post was last modified: 05-05-2025, 01:05 PM by RiverNotch.)
This just isn't very poetical. There's very little metaphor, and what is present is common---lost hope, breaking barriers, uplifting others, paving a way, glass ceiling, the title---and, aside from some pedestrian lists, no sound effects, no hooks. Not so much you need to go *back* to the drawing board, as you need to go to it in the first place. Some possible avenues:
(1) Describe the days before, during, and after the election. Focus on the images, on the concrete objects, that signify your emotions during those days.
(2) Use metaphors for the sort of good you desire and what sort of bad transpired. Since I'm currently cloaked in Greco-Roman myth, the thing to pop in mind is maybe the Amazons, or the cabal of nymphs Artemis surrounds herself with, versus the fall of Troy, the raping and enslaving of the city's surviving women.
(3) Put the events of 2024 through a deeper and more incisive analysis. Why did Trump really win against Kamala? Was it just because the American people are stupid, or is it because the people who voted for Trump are genuinely as hateful and careless as their role model? Also, is it just because Kamala is a woman? What about her race or, more contentiously, how she positioned herself as a centrist versus Trump's populism? And, ultimately, is the problem just in this one election? We've had something like this happen in 2016. Also consider rising prices, stagnating wages (except for billionaires, whose wages are increasing), America's inherent exceptionalism and how half of it was founded as a slave state and the other half as a Capitalist paradise, the human tendency to scapegoat each other versus actually working on their own problems---the systems in place, rather than this their particular fruit.
(4) Finally, aside from all this, what do you think one can actually do against this fascist tide? Nihilism is stupid---Nietzsche himself thought so---so what about some words of encouragement? Some calls to action?
(1) Describe the days before, during, and after the election. Focus on the images, on the concrete objects, that signify your emotions during those days.
(2) Use metaphors for the sort of good you desire and what sort of bad transpired. Since I'm currently cloaked in Greco-Roman myth, the thing to pop in mind is maybe the Amazons, or the cabal of nymphs Artemis surrounds herself with, versus the fall of Troy, the raping and enslaving of the city's surviving women.
(3) Put the events of 2024 through a deeper and more incisive analysis. Why did Trump really win against Kamala? Was it just because the American people are stupid, or is it because the people who voted for Trump are genuinely as hateful and careless as their role model? Also, is it just because Kamala is a woman? What about her race or, more contentiously, how she positioned herself as a centrist versus Trump's populism? And, ultimately, is the problem just in this one election? We've had something like this happen in 2016. Also consider rising prices, stagnating wages (except for billionaires, whose wages are increasing), America's inherent exceptionalism and how half of it was founded as a slave state and the other half as a Capitalist paradise, the human tendency to scapegoat each other versus actually working on their own problems---the systems in place, rather than this their particular fruit.
(4) Finally, aside from all this, what do you think one can actually do against this fascist tide? Nihilism is stupid---Nietzsche himself thought so---so what about some words of encouragement? Some calls to action?