04-16-2025, 08:50 AM
Thank you all for taking the time to critique this work, really I am grateful for it.
Poetry_zealot: reading through your commentary shows me that you really have a profound feeling for the way the forms accentuates the words and how it can be made us of to the fullest. Almost all your suggestions I will take to heart and look to when I make my edit. Thank you very much for it.
brynmawr1: Yes, totally agree with the title being bad and just simply calling it Pause would probably make it even better. Is is repeated a lot, trying for an effect but perhaps not amounting to much.
Carahmellow: Thank you for your kind words, I will consider the spacing and how I can make it more readable.
Poetry_zealot: reading through your commentary shows me that you really have a profound feeling for the way the forms accentuates the words and how it can be made us of to the fullest. Almost all your suggestions I will take to heart and look to when I make my edit. Thank you very much for it.
brynmawr1: Yes, totally agree with the title being bad and just simply calling it Pause would probably make it even better. Is is repeated a lot, trying for an effect but perhaps not amounting to much.
Carahmellow: Thank you for your kind words, I will consider the spacing and how I can make it more readable.