03-25-2025, 12:24 AM
There are one or two word and grammar choices I might mention in critique, but on the whole this is good.
The last stanza is the best (envy: mine always seem rushed and get-it-over-with). Self as an afterthought is excellent, regret and shelf-judgment (shame mentioned twice, previously) the mark or price of sanity. The mad have no regrets though shame sometimes drives them; more of an excuse, really. And though self-judgment may be pretended for sympathy, the real thing makes a real person... not blameless, but not full of blame for others.
Thought-provoking, yes.
The last stanza is the best (envy: mine always seem rushed and get-it-over-with). Self as an afterthought is excellent, regret and shelf-judgment (shame mentioned twice, previously) the mark or price of sanity. The mad have no regrets though shame sometimes drives them; more of an excuse, really. And though self-judgment may be pretended for sympathy, the real thing makes a real person... not blameless, but not full of blame for others.
Thought-provoking, yes.
Non-practicing atheist