03-14-2025, 07:19 PM
thanks for the feedback,
slight edits to make the general idea in s2 clearer, plus to suggest -- idk if it's better necessarily -- the idea i first had about the speaker's fate, as per your feedback. before posting, i tried to incorporate more the idea that the speaker had completely disappeared at some point, but i couldn't find a smooth-enough way of wording it. alternatively, i could retitle the piece to "The Disappeared": what do you think?
slight edits to make the general idea in s2 clearer, plus to suggest -- idk if it's better necessarily -- the idea i first had about the speaker's fate, as per your feedback. before posting, i tried to incorporate more the idea that the speaker had completely disappeared at some point, but i couldn't find a smooth-enough way of wording it. alternatively, i could retitle the piece to "The Disappeared": what do you think?