03-01-2025, 04:18 AM
This poem is really impressive, I enjoyed it a lot. I've struggled with this same thing myself, and it is comforting to know there are others who don't fully understand themselves. I think what carahmellow said about the last stanza is true, and I think you could do this by getting rid of the first three lines of it because the reader can get the same idea without them. I would also add that "I have convictions entombed in glaciation, Yet springtime melts my frosted obstinacy. I weave a cocoon of icy expressions, shielding me from greater evils than Helios. I am a moth and a butterfly in the same very moment" is not necessary, since it is a bit hard to follow and you already touch on these ideas in other stanzas. Overall, great writing, and I enjoyed reading this very much!
- ▀▄▀▄▀▄ depressedmetalhead ▄▀▄▀▄▀ ●︿● ˖ ⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ☿