Dangling Carrot

[carahmellow]

Thanks, everyone for the critique. So I ended up re-writing this poem a lot and I think one of the main issues with it was using "you" instead of "I". Just changing that made a big difference and made it feel less preachy. I also played around with some metaphors... but in the end, I scrapped it all together. Sometimes you just need to move on and try again... which I plan to eventually.