02-24-2025, 11:38 AM
Hi carah - some thoughts:
1. This sort of didactic poem works best with classic, regular rhyme. It’s a lot of telling, and for that to be justified in a poem, there has to be some other exhibition of craft, like rhyme and meter. Loosely rhyming poems that also purport to teach give the impression of the author being a lazy teacher. That’s just my opinion, of course
2. There are different ways to say what you want to say. One is to write a didactic poem. Another is to have the meaning - the moral of story, as it were, slip out more subtly. Such a poem would look quite different, and is not what you’re going for here. So let’s ignore it.
3. It would be nice to have a carrot reference in the poem, to ground the title at two levels
1. This sort of didactic poem works best with classic, regular rhyme. It’s a lot of telling, and for that to be justified in a poem, there has to be some other exhibition of craft, like rhyme and meter. Loosely rhyming poems that also purport to teach give the impression of the author being a lazy teacher. That’s just my opinion, of course
2. There are different ways to say what you want to say. One is to write a didactic poem. Another is to have the meaning - the moral of story, as it were, slip out more subtly. Such a poem would look quite different, and is not what you’re going for here. So let’s ignore it.
3. It would be nice to have a carrot reference in the poem, to ground the title at two levels