sewage drains

[midnightcowboy]

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1739474126[/url]']
don't you all just want to stop the vain?
be distant in all that remains?
run into narrow alleys to repopulate in sewage drains?
be silent in any danger that has remained?
crowd-surf tile tunnels in a redundant haze?
repeat the priors; no maps or guides are given in a maze
repent for liars; we all gave time to this craze

Great thoughtful poem, and to answer your question...Yes, I do... But for the critique...

don't you all just want to stop the vain? -Remove 'just' (unnecessary, and works really well without it.)
be distant in all that remains?
run into narrow alleys to repopulate in sewage drains? - remove 'to', and add a line breakbefore repopulate.
be silent in any danger that has remained?
crowd-surf tile tunnels in a redundant haze?
repeat the priors; no maps or guides are given in a maze
repent for liars; we all gave time to this craze

hope this helps! great work... excited to read more.

thank you for the insightful response lemme edit and try once more

don't you all want to stop the vain?
be distant in all that remains?
run into narrow alleys 
repopulate in sewage drains?
be silent in any danger that has stained?
crowd-surf tile tunnels in a redundant haze?
repeat the priors; no maps or guides are given in a maze
repent for liars; we all gave time to this craze so keep on dreaming