12-23-2024, 11:12 PM
Well hello Alonso- been a while, so it's good to read you again!
I expected your
denial, the moon behind the clouds.
On the shore,
we danced around the fire, crying
nothing else but liberation, liberation,
in a language that
dissolved into
the dawn chorus.
For me, the poem comes down to the part I've extracted, and is stronger without the middle stanzas. I guess I just prefer shorter poems. There is nothing wrong with those middle sections, and they do contain well defined images, yet I think they dilute the message of loss. At least I read it as loss.
That said, I really like this phrase:
winter is only the distant sun
allowing space to dream
It seems that there are several poems layered within this one, and I'd like to see some other replies that may alter my interpretation.
Anywho-welcome back,
Mark
I expected your
denial, the moon behind the clouds.
On the shore,
we danced around the fire, crying
nothing else but liberation, liberation,
in a language that
dissolved into
the dawn chorus.
For me, the poem comes down to the part I've extracted, and is stronger without the middle stanzas. I guess I just prefer shorter poems. There is nothing wrong with those middle sections, and they do contain well defined images, yet I think they dilute the message of loss. At least I read it as loss.
That said, I really like this phrase:
winter is only the distant sun
allowing space to dream
It seems that there are several poems layered within this one, and I'd like to see some other replies that may alter my interpretation.
Anywho-welcome back,
Mark