Smoke

[Magpie]

REVISION #1

(All the titles in my head sound like y'all are gonna say "cliche")    - don't be so down on yourself man

Building Blocks - cliché   you called it

Mom worked the evening shift,  
a nurse at the hospital.
 traveling by ship,
Dad was a Navy Corpsman 
in Vietnam. these last lines conflict 'traveling' yet being in 'Vietnam' - 'traveling by ship' is implied and therefore somewhat redundant.

Good start though, stanzas are more defined than the first version which make it easier to follow

My sister and I fended
for ourselves after school.
Heating our dinners. Homework
was always done first – of course.  - awkward enjambment here, don't worry so much about lines being of equal length
Heating our dinners.
Homework was always done first
– of course.

Dinner was packaged on foil trays,
and eaten in front of the television. - don't need 'and'
Wienies and beans. Salisbury steak.
Looney Tunes and Merry Melodies. - good stanza - I like the detail in it

I escaped when I could, meeting - this feels like awkward enjambment again, although I like the line 'friends in the night smoking' - it's not quite working
friends in the night. Smoking,
and talking like the cool kids,
but we didn’t have a chance.

consider possibly
I escaped when I could, 
meeting friends in the night.
Smoking, talking like the cool kids,
but we didn’t have a chance.

Long ago now; it’s been years
since I’ve spoken to anyone.
I’m good at not knowing
what I have – until I don’t.

I like the edit, you've tidied it up nicely. Good job