11-22-2024, 11:54 PM
Stanza 1
Since winter is singular, “winters always do” feels more appropriate to me. You’d be repeating the word “winter” I don’t see that as an issue.
Stanza 2
Frost doesn’t really become dew
Stanza 3
You’re comparing darkness to warmth, but dark days are not necessarily cold, so this comparison doesn’t really fit.
Stanza 4
Where did the “great black abyss” come from? All your other comparisons were weather related.
Stanza 5
This is probably meant to relate to heartbreak, but ice patches will always go away (hearts heal).
Stanza 6
Nice ending (a rebirth of love?)
Nicely done. I like how you tried to use weather as a metaphor for love, but I think some of your comparisons missed the mark. There was a positive outlook to your poem, love springs eternal, but said in your own words.
Since winter is singular, “winters always do” feels more appropriate to me. You’d be repeating the word “winter” I don’t see that as an issue.
Stanza 2
Frost doesn’t really become dew
Stanza 3
You’re comparing darkness to warmth, but dark days are not necessarily cold, so this comparison doesn’t really fit.
Stanza 4
Where did the “great black abyss” come from? All your other comparisons were weather related.
Stanza 5
This is probably meant to relate to heartbreak, but ice patches will always go away (hearts heal).
Stanza 6
Nice ending (a rebirth of love?)
Nicely done. I like how you tried to use weather as a metaphor for love, but I think some of your comparisons missed the mark. There was a positive outlook to your poem, love springs eternal, but said in your own words.