05-31-2010, 04:33 PM
I love this one. Very nicee build up indeed.
The only thing I would tweak is to rephrase the last few lines to make them less cliche. But thats just my taste, and there's really nothing wrong with it. Its still pretty much perfect as is
The only thing I would tweak is to rephrase the last few lines to make them less cliche. But thats just my taste, and there's really nothing wrong with it. Its still pretty much perfect as is
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?