Sage

[Knot]

Hi Val.
It seems a tad unfocused, to me. Appearing like a sock from a dryer (fabulous image) and then disappearing aging. Feels more like a quick sketch than a portrait (and not sure the format is doing it any favours.)

The smell of my
        grandmother’s kitchen… ............ not sure you need kitchen (what's it adding?)

With her
             in a polyester house dress,
        her skin as soft
               as the gown’s
                     colors were bright.
        Her salt and pepper curls
                       in gold hairpins. ......... not sure you need this either, or at least not to open with.

        Her sing-songy yodel
a jumble of
              mountain stream ramblings, ...... I don't really understand this (can't quite hear her voice in my head) but it certainly seems like the place to start.
as vivid flashes
       of her silly youth ........................................ 'silly' seems rather judgemental (how does N, the grandson/daughter, know?)
                 tumbled like
                 socks from the dryer ...................... really good
       in her mind’s eye,
not registering
               the view
                      of the backyard. ................... given what follows, it's clear she's 'not registering the view'

“Oh!”
            She’d suddenly start
                 “I must have been
                                             a million miles away”

The warm tomatoes
     paid her no mind.
They kept on ripening
          in her sunny window.




Best, Knot


.