10-12-2024, 05:31 PM
[quote="brynmawr1" pid='271039' dateline='1725930737']
Sharing the Last Mandarin
Squat and plump, inviting
skin orange so pliant,
so easily undressed-
tip of thumb working
the cleft of skin and flesh
where scent becomes sweetness
a wash across the tongue; coverings
left forgotten. How delicious it is
wanting another.
Squat and plump, inviting nice enjambment here and interesting opener
in the bowl.
Orange skin, pliant; do we need orange here, we know its orange
so easily undressed- the language becomes sexually suggestive
tip of thumb working
the cleft - ongoing sensual prose and nice enjambment
of skin and flesh, the scent
of citrus; a wash - is wash the right word? clashes somewhat with the sensuality from before
of cool sweetness across i'd be tempted to lose the word cool - it almost cools down what tension there is
the tongue. taste/sensuality
How delicious it is
to be perfectly made
for consumption. - interesting ending, because its asking how delicious it is to be made for consumption - some ambiguity here, they love that oranges are made for consumption, or they themselves like to be consumed.
Hi thanks for sharing.
I really enjoyed the piece
To me it is a sweet and clean piece about sensual pleasure, plenitude - taste and sexual undertones. There may be some commentary about how things are consumed - however that is not fully developed.
Sharing the Last Mandarin
Squat and plump, inviting
skin orange so pliant,
so easily undressed-
tip of thumb working
the cleft of skin and flesh
where scent becomes sweetness
a wash across the tongue; coverings
left forgotten. How delicious it is
wanting another.
Squat and plump, inviting nice enjambment here and interesting opener
in the bowl.
Orange skin, pliant; do we need orange here, we know its orange
so easily undressed- the language becomes sexually suggestive
tip of thumb working
the cleft - ongoing sensual prose and nice enjambment
of skin and flesh, the scent
of citrus; a wash - is wash the right word? clashes somewhat with the sensuality from before
of cool sweetness across i'd be tempted to lose the word cool - it almost cools down what tension there is
the tongue. taste/sensuality
How delicious it is
to be perfectly made
for consumption. - interesting ending, because its asking how delicious it is to be made for consumption - some ambiguity here, they love that oranges are made for consumption, or they themselves like to be consumed.
Hi thanks for sharing.
I really enjoyed the piece
To me it is a sweet and clean piece about sensual pleasure, plenitude - taste and sexual undertones. There may be some commentary about how things are consumed - however that is not fully developed.