Delete please

[Knot]

Hi mariematisse.

I preferred the original, I'm afraid. There's a bit too much telling here, and moving from earth to mud to soil (and then to soil again) just left me confused. What's the difference (to the speaker) in the terms?

Two thoughts:
change the title, I'd suggest translating 'Irish Rain' into Gaelic (Báisteach na hÉireann according to online translators)
And,

and devours
sorrows -

even those
of the dark girl

laughing
in the Irish rain.


Best, Knot.