Sharing the Last Mandarin(edit 2)

[brynmawr1]

Hi Steve-
At risk of piling on ....    Ha! Glad you joined the party!

Sharing the Last Mandarin  maybe 'an Orange' ?? Yes, a Madarin is a type of orange, but
just going with 'an Orange' would resolve a later issue I comment on, below:     I've resisted adding 'orange' in the title cause they are so common and a little boring.  Also, often hard to peel

Squat and plump, inviting
skin orange so pliant,  skin 'orange' stops me cold every time I read it  Funny, this is one of my favorite lines for some reason.  I guess I like the rhythm of it.
so easily undressed-
tip of thumb working
the cleft of skin and flesh  don't need the repetition of 'skin', me thinks  I was wondering when someone would point that out.  I left it in cause no one was commenting on it and I didn't even notice for a long time.  I think it might be better to get rid of the first one somehow.  Pondering...
where scent becomes sweetness
a wash across the tongue; coverings 
left forgotten  How delicious it is  the bolded part could be left out
wanting another.

You know me, the fewer the words, the better the effect, and that is particularly true of this one. Re-working the line breaks would be necessary, too. A little less and it could be a gorgeous poem (for me).  You mean more gorgeous, right.  

Mark

HI Mark,
Thanks for adding your take.  As with all of these, I have some competing opinions about different but overlapping issues.  Gets tricky.  You want to cut, others want to add.  There are pro/cons of each.  I guess I have some decisions to make!
Take care,
steve

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The title change is perfect!
Also my thoughts are just that. I feel like it's not people like me you need to worry about concerning. I am very cautious with Native American symbology because in Montana so many white (fine arts mainly) artists make a killing off of reproducing Native American art techniques and symbols. I know
Authors, tattoo artists, have done the same for Asians cultures.

The biggest argument is that it takes away indigenous people to tell and display their own history. Asian Americans got a lot of prejudice since COVID 19 due to the GOP blaming them for the pandemic.

Anyways adding last to the title in my opinion was all it needed

Hi Bunx,

I like the 'last' addition, as well, but title might change again!  Thanks for the thoughts on appropriation.  I had never really thought about it in the way you explained.  I just knew that it bothered some people and accepted that without really understanding why.  If you have more thoughts on this we should probably move to a discussion forum, though.
Take care, 
Bryn