Seed

Seed

Magpie Offline

Metavariable loon, sir.

Posts: 326
Threads: 90
Joined: Apr 2013

09-16-2024, 04:13 AM

(09-15-2024, 01:21 AM)Valerie Please Wrote: Touch the earth,
face in the dirt:
A silent ball
breaking, wailing,
but also
waiting.

I like the idea.
Not sure about the idea of a 'ball' and silent seems at odds with wailing.
'but also' is unnecessary.

wae aye man ye radgie

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Messages In This Thread

Seed - by Valerie Please - 09-15-2024, 01:21 AM

RE: Seed - by DeluxDelightful - 09-15-2024, 04:00 AM

RE: Seed - by Bunx - 09-16-2024, 02:36 AM

RE: Seed - by Valerie Please - 09-18-2024, 12:58 AM

RE: Seed - by Magpie - 09-16-2024, 04:13 AM

RE: Seed - by Bunx - 09-16-2024, 04:41 AM

RE: Seed - by Magpie - 09-16-2024, 04:50 AM

RE: Seed - by Bunx - 09-18-2024, 01:50 AM

RE: Seed - by WiredWild327 - 09-18-2024, 02:04 AM

RE: Seed - by Valerie Please - 09-18-2024, 04:20 AM

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