The Last Time I Was Happy

[rowens]

The Last Time I Was Happy


I woke up in my cell alone,
drunk in public the night before,
as I always do, I'd called the cops on myself.

No hangxiety,
context matters,
despite the raging meaningless madness of the body.

All the cells were clear,
men and women;

if a man needed to piss,
he could pull his dick out for all to see.

You'd usually go to jail for that.

I was free. There was no way I could harm anyone or myself.
And I could masturbate or shit on the floor or throw up 
or yell racial slurs and harass the women in the other cells,

and everyone would find that not only normal but expected.

If my mind and body were as transparent as those cells,
I'd never have hangxiety again.