Attack (revised)

[Wjames]

Revised:

A chill runs up my back
Like an angry train clacking down a track The rhyme sort of sets a light, limericky tone to the start of the poem that is the opposite of the feeling in the rest of the poem. I think it would probably be stronger without the rhyme here.
Jarring and unwanted I think your reply to 71degrees can be instructive here. "Jarring and unwanted" isn't really something tactile a reader can feel. You mention "screeching" in your reply - when I read that word, it's concrete and real, I can hear a screeching train in my head. That image of that sound is "jarring and unwanted" to the reader in itself, and would communicate that more effectively. I think you should try to show the feelings a bit more rather than telling them - it's usually much stronger.
Cutting through the whole of my soul 
Dividing east from west
Descending into Dissonance 
Bludgeoned by burden
Mapping out history's problems
There is no sense in solving
Iron nailed down 
Trusses trembling I like these two images.
Under unbearable
Unstoppable weight
I am
Dismembered I like this image, a little jarring, but good.
Tensely remembering
Your touch 
Refusal was no refuge I think building a little tension for the reader, letting them wonder what it's all about, and then revealing here was good.
Shrill screams through silence again
Still
The juggernaut keeps chugging
Along my battered bones



Original version:

A chill runs up my back
Like an angry train rolling down a track
Jarring and unwanted
Running through the whole of my soul
Divided east to west
Descending into Dissonance
Bludgeoned by burden
Mapping out history's problems
There is no sense in solving
Iron nailed down
Trusses trembling
Under insurmountable
Unstoppable weight
I am
Dismembered
Tensely remembering
Your touch
Refusal was no refuge
Shrill screams through silence again
Still
The juggernaut keeps chugging
Along my weary bones

Hey SpruceMoose, just some thoughts after a few reads.