09-09-2024, 11:13 PM
Hi Bunx,
great title, and a promising start. The first two verses work well, but then it seems to wander off. The next three verses don't read as well (the tone, if nothing else, seems slightly out of key) but then it finishes well.
Is there a better word than 'collection'? Seems most un-stew like.
Do you need 'smells' in S2? Aromatic rather has that covered, don't you think?
Best, Knot
.
great title, and a promising start. The first two verses work well, but then it seems to wander off. The next three verses don't read as well (the tone, if nothing else, seems slightly out of key) but then it finishes well.
Is there a better word than 'collection'? Seems most un-stew like.
Do you need 'smells' in S2? Aromatic rather has that covered, don't you think?
Best, Knot
.