A Tale of Five Piggies

[Knot]

Hi Tiger,
really like the idea, but I'm not sure just what Tale it is you're trying to tell.


The first goes to market
dressed like a buyer
and is bid on,
bought
and butchered
before noon. ...................... really wanted this to rhyme, but if not, then maybe a sligtly differet layout?

I get lost on just what the relationship is betwen the speaker and the piggies.

The second stays home
till we fatten her up. ......... don't think starting with 'the second' works (and where's the rest of the verse?)

The next is a porky,
parody of a pig
and has roast beef
with fatty drippings
over Yorkshires
and mash
in hopes of filling
his missing brother’s
part of the pen. .......... thought parody was going towards vegetarian. Hints of rap?

he has roast beef
dripping with beef dripping
dripping over Yorkshire pudding
watch theholes filling
up in the hope of filling
...

('pen' doesn't make much sense to me here.)

The fourth will have none of it;
fat bastard needs to be trim
before Sunday. .................... don't get 'trim'.

The last little piggy
though plump in her pics,
was nothing
a keen-eyed
butcher would buy. ............ feels like what the pigs are doing/for changes here.

She wee-wee’d her way
all the way home
to an empty pantry
and a table set
by hungry mouths. ......... any way to reverse the order of this verse? End with the nursery rhyme lines?


Best, Knot


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