Attack (revised)

[micah3801]

A chill runs up my back
Like an angry train rolling down a track
Jarring and unwanted
Running through the whole of my soul i want something other than "running" here...it sounds too close to rolling for me personally. humming? what sound does it make? feeling? 
Divided east to west
Descending into Dissonance
Bludgeoned by burden
Mapping out history's problems
There is no sense in solving
Iron nailed down
Trusses trembling
Under insurmountable
Unstoppable weight
I am
Dismembered really, really enjoy these line breaks. 
Tensely remembering
Your touch and boom! this explosive reveal of the subject is amazing, super into it 
Refusal was no refuge
Shrill screams through silence again
Still
The juggernaut keeps chugging
Along my weary bones all this, for weary? i feel there is a better descriptor out there, something a bit more violent

really enjoy this piece, there are a couple words i would change for my own phonic reasons which i have explained above but overall, i greatly appreciate you putting this feeling to words.