08-21-2024, 11:24 PM
Well hello Paul-
Some comments, below:
If I Knew Then...
I'd have been bull lubricious
rather than china shop cautious The sound of these lines is fantastic. This opening works for me.
I'd have clad my little cat feet This entire stanza falls flat (for me, at least)
in fourteen-hole Docs
and trucked in like a rhino
I'd have been the bad boy This comes off as decidedly 'teenage' to me, indicating an encounter from long ago. That's because I know yer not a kid anymore.
sucking your tongue
just to recount it to the boys
I'd have ripped the stuffing
from the Teddy Bear
and exposed myself honestly Interestingly lewd turn here, and it works.
Is Now really too late? Don't know about the capital 'N'. But yeah, it's probably way past too late, so why even ask?
Good to read you again, Paul,
Mark
Some comments, below:
If I Knew Then...
I'd have been bull lubricious
rather than china shop cautious The sound of these lines is fantastic. This opening works for me.
I'd have clad my little cat feet This entire stanza falls flat (for me, at least)
in fourteen-hole Docs
and trucked in like a rhino
I'd have been the bad boy This comes off as decidedly 'teenage' to me, indicating an encounter from long ago. That's because I know yer not a kid anymore.
sucking your tongue
just to recount it to the boys
I'd have ripped the stuffing
from the Teddy Bear
and exposed myself honestly Interestingly lewd turn here, and it works.
Is Now really too late? Don't know about the capital 'N'. But yeah, it's probably way past too late, so why even ask?
Good to read you again, Paul,
Mark