05-29-2010, 10:46 AM
Thanks Dan for your suggestions, I really appreciate them.
Thanks for the first comment &
I had to use wildflower to keep the theme of flowers.
I see now I don't need the word beautiful actually because all wildflowers are beautiful - it is an unspoken.
But I liked the syllable rhythm when I first wrote it:
IE I'm just a little dandelion is a long stanza 9 count
then / a beautiful wildflower is a long phrase 7 count
I like to do that with my poems.
There is an undercurrent in the poem of "conformity and fitting in" as well. When i wrote it, I was a beautiful (according to everyone else - not me) new bride with my new family, had my first baby and everyone else in my family was acting like they were better than me. Even though my father was richer than my husband's father and my mother had more class than his mother. (Dont' get me wrong I loved my mother & father-in law). But they were snobs and my folks were down to earth. I was trying to be the wildflower (like all them in the meadow) and be accepted - act and do whatever they wanted, but my huband was emotionally abusive so i figured he thought I was just shit and so I must be a weed after all. And then I rather liked yellow dandelions after that. He divorced me after 10 years of faithful loyalty to him and his family. Argh, why my confession here?. sheesh, sorry, i'm a wierdo after all. thanks.
Thanks for the first comment &
I had to use wildflower to keep the theme of flowers.
I see now I don't need the word beautiful actually because all wildflowers are beautiful - it is an unspoken.
But I liked the syllable rhythm when I first wrote it:
IE I'm just a little dandelion is a long stanza 9 count
then / a beautiful wildflower is a long phrase 7 count
I like to do that with my poems.
There is an undercurrent in the poem of "conformity and fitting in" as well. When i wrote it, I was a beautiful (according to everyone else - not me) new bride with my new family, had my first baby and everyone else in my family was acting like they were better than me. Even though my father was richer than my husband's father and my mother had more class than his mother. (Dont' get me wrong I loved my mother & father-in law). But they were snobs and my folks were down to earth. I was trying to be the wildflower (like all them in the meadow) and be accepted - act and do whatever they wanted, but my huband was emotionally abusive so i figured he thought I was just shit and so I must be a weed after all. And then I rather liked yellow dandelions after that. He divorced me after 10 years of faithful loyalty to him and his family. Argh, why my confession here?. sheesh, sorry, i'm a wierdo after all. thanks.
Bianca 