Dead Bolt
#6
(08-25-2023, 03:53 AM)Lizzie Wrote:  Morning's awaiting the slide and the thunk
of the dead bolt
locking behind you; it listens for chirps
from your car keys,

signals of hushing alarms. In the stillness, the tea pot
whistles then yawns to the clicking of Legos the kids build;
murmuring hums from the dishwasher singing its calm hymn.
Finding my pen like a friend at a party, we talk men
whispering phrases the kids shouldn't hear till they've grown old.

Footsteps approaching
the patio door bring a quick chill:
words back in place, in their books
lest they slip out
and blame me.
Your poem is clear, which I like.  You seem to be describing the day of a stay-at-home mom.  The only thing that isn't clear is, who are you talking to after the father/husband leaves?  I assume it's a girlfriend, but would prefer it if the poet identified the person.  Still, if you don't change the poem, I think it works as it is.

To me, the most significant aspect of this poem is the implication that the mother/wife has an interest in other men.

If I've interpreted the poem incorrectly, please let me know.  My comprehension isn't always great.  I'm a very literal-minded person.
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Messages In This Thread
Dead Bolt - by Lizzie - 08-25-2023, 03:53 AM
RE: Dead Bolt - by brynmawr1 - 08-25-2023, 11:36 AM
RE: Dead Bolt - by Knot - 08-25-2023, 08:21 PM
RE: Dead Bolt - by ennuibrion - 05-08-2024, 10:45 AM
RE: Dead Bolt - by armadillosarecool - 05-09-2024, 06:08 AM
RE: Dead Bolt - by Pjames - 05-25-2024, 03:01 PM
RE: Dead Bolt - by crow - 05-30-2024, 01:54 PM



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