Finding the Surface

[Semicircle]

Lost, broken, drowning

Voiceless, invisible                   Voiceless has potential.

Empty 

I came to you

 

Secrets spilled                            These two lines are good

Shame released

Tears shed

Pain endured

 

Taught to breathe                      

To hear the God within

To trust

To hope

 

Guide needed                     The ending feels anticlimactic.

God sent

Heart opened

Voice found

 

Forever grateful.               Sounds cliche to my ears.

Someone who was once silent was taught to speak their mind. Having more of a laser focus on that aspect of the poem would allow the story to feel more connected. 

The poem, for me, is in these lines:

Voiceless
I came to you

secrets spilled
shame released

Voice found   ....(this needs more depth)

In my opinion, a lot of lines do not hold a solid direction, and can be trimmed. 

.........

Hope I could help! Thanks for posting.
SC