Awake
#5
Tiger -- 

It is good to be back, I was waiting for a good time to rejoin the ranks, and then it happened. I was not married to the repetition, I usually try to avoid it if I can. Thanks for the critique.


Busker--

Appreciate your feedback. The poem is mostly auditory, the little boy does not have context for what is going on in the bathroom.


Tranq--

Feigning is a good call. I agree that the stanzas should combine. Thanks.


Missed you guys.
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Messages In This Thread
Awake - by Semicircle - 05-13-2024, 04:11 AM
RE: Awake - by Tiger the Lion - 05-13-2024, 07:15 AM
RE: Awake - by busker - 05-13-2024, 12:04 PM
RE: Awake - by TranquillityBase - 05-14-2024, 02:16 AM
RE: Awake - by Semicircle - 05-14-2024, 11:49 AM
RE: Awake - by Mark A Becker - 05-16-2024, 12:49 AM
RE: Awake - by Semicircle - 05-16-2024, 04:26 AM
RE: Awake - by Knot - 05-17-2024, 01:14 AM
RE: Awake (New title: In Stasis) - by Semicircle - 05-17-2024, 04:24 AM
RE: Awake (New title: In Stasis) - by Knot - 05-17-2024, 11:51 PM
RE: Awake - by Semicircle - 05-20-2024, 12:51 AM
RE: Awake - by busker - 05-22-2024, 01:50 PM
RE: Awake - by Pjames - 05-25-2024, 02:34 PM
RE: Awake - by Wjames - 05-26-2024, 02:19 PM



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