05-13-2024, 01:48 PM
(05-11-2024, 04:21 PM)Wjames Wrote: Words of pineapple affirmation pizza
are red flags to those who love puns.
Coffee in small bookstore
bikini in Ibiza
street scene in stiletto.
It’s playoffs and the bar Playoffs in the bar (similar in structure to "Coffee in small bookstore", and a consistency of using "in" throughout the poem)
is buddies cheering rabid buddies cheering rabid
laughter red light. I don't understand what this means or symbolizes ... perhaps others do.
Shirtless in the mirror
balding baseball cap
puppies and ice cream. Red meat and red wine ... or some combination of food and drink. (Feeding off tranq's comment about too cute, I thought of this or something like it.)
Catch a fish in canoe and red flannel, Catch fish in a canoe and red flannel (nobody strives to catch "a fish", and it just flows better IMO, and I like "a" before canoe.
enjoy the tension and release.
I do like it a lot. Just some minor suggestions that flow somewhat with what others have mentioned, and keeps with the general minimalist style. Take them as you will, or ignore them of course.