05-09-2024, 11:41 PM
(05-09-2024, 06:29 AM)Bunx Wrote: DeloresBunx,
The strongest woman in my family
is someone I've never met. nice first line
Delores, is more of an idea don't need that comma
a woman who's life shadows mine. whose
Stories about Delores,
are lessons that I wear
as if dad's puffy coats like
I find at my folks cabin.
When I cried
after losing medicaid
sitting next tor the Missouri typo for to
I wonder if Delores did the same. my favorite stanza
When my face swelled
with no help in sight
slowly realizing, saving
to treat the rot in my
teeth that something
else was cause. this stanza is a little confusing, see below*
I wish you were there
to tell me
you're not crazy. maybe add quotation marks thus: "you're not crazy."
When I cried on the phone
after my grandmother died
telling my dad I quit
my medication cold turkey.
I hope that you would be
proud I demanded the
treatment I deserve.
When my psychiatrist
who my insurance no longer
covers, gave me his number(.)
After running tests saying he/she told me
I might have never woken
up within the month.
I hope you were in
heaven sighing with relief.
Delores meaning is sorrow,
your death, your murder
was a reflection
of a power thirsty empire.
Where power is the means
and end.
Her sorrow is my strength. another great stanza
Today I told my boss
everything after she asked
if I was ok.
She gave me a long hug
I swear I felt your love through her.
I'm safe because of your sorrow.
I'll see you Delores
and cash in that hug
after our fight is won.
To me Delores means beauty
I can not wait to see you... can't
For the first time.
A very moving poem. You speak of her "murder" and "thirsty empire" is a great phrase. All in all, this poem is well polished. Some suggested edits to make it clearer.
Thanks for the read.
TqB
*When my face swelled
with no help in sight
thinking it was the rot
in my teeth,
slowly realizing
that something else was the cause.