03-31-2024, 06:12 AM
Being Nemesis 2 (FPV)
Death-eyed I fly
unseen not because
they never look up...
no, I’m just not there. great opening, fight to the death if someone picks on "death-eyed"
My point of presence strikes
destroying huddled tons
of tanks and foxholes full
of cringing crying
smoking men like the rhythm, the pause after first stanza, then this almost breathless plunging into powerful imagery.
with tap of screen now back to the cool voice behind the drone
touch of joystick
my home-grown terror-wraith would it be unwriterly to say "homegrown" so there's only one hyphen, the great "terror-wraith"
savors and executes
justice on invaders. I savor this stanza
All from hidden safety...
relatively speaking.
I fear only other
patriotic drone-controllers can you think of an epithet like "my point of prescence" or "death-eyed" for the opponent? "patriotic drone controllers" is dull.
hunting me
for native justice mirror-spawns
avengers. at first this stanza felt like a letdown, until those incredible last two lines, not sure if that's a serious isssue or not.
First impression: Yowza!
Second impressions: above.
Death-eyed I fly
unseen not because
they never look up...
no, I’m just not there. great opening, fight to the death if someone picks on "death-eyed"
My point of presence strikes
destroying huddled tons
of tanks and foxholes full
of cringing crying
smoking men like the rhythm, the pause after first stanza, then this almost breathless plunging into powerful imagery.
with tap of screen now back to the cool voice behind the drone
touch of joystick
my home-grown terror-wraith would it be unwriterly to say "homegrown" so there's only one hyphen, the great "terror-wraith"
savors and executes
justice on invaders. I savor this stanza
All from hidden safety...
relatively speaking.
I fear only other
patriotic drone-controllers can you think of an epithet like "my point of prescence" or "death-eyed" for the opponent? "patriotic drone controllers" is dull.
hunting me
for native justice mirror-spawns
avengers. at first this stanza felt like a letdown, until those incredible last two lines, not sure if that's a serious isssue or not.
First impression: Yowza!
Second impressions: above.