03-29-2024, 09:53 PM
Hi duke,
That opening couplet is the main problem for me, syntactically (never near) and semantically (lurking.) Can one lurk far away?
L1, surely A/the Tankist ...?
L5, puny evokes the Incredible Hulk, for me. A wrong note?
L7, Should driven not be controlled (given console?)
L8, buttoned following game console gives one pause, as does torch as a verb.
L11, invaders are you picking a side here?
.
That opening couplet is the main problem for me, syntactically (never near) and semantically (lurking.) Can one lurk far away?
L1, surely A/the Tankist ...?
L5, puny evokes the Incredible Hulk, for me. A wrong note?
L7, Should driven not be controlled (given console?)
L8, buttoned following game console gives one pause, as does torch as a verb.
L11, invaders are you picking a side here?
L14, I think you could find something stronger, more graphic even, than drone-victims.
Best, Knot
.