Being Nemesis (old thread)

[TranquillityBase]

Being Nemesis (FPV)


Tankists must despise and fear          
drone-pilots lurking, never near,
far more than their ancestral knights     
had need to dread an archer’s flights
of puny arrows: sword and spear
could stoop and slay from armored gear.

But now game console driven drones
fly pitiless, torch buttoned bones
of tank crew members, turrets popped      
by top-attacking missiles dropped
against invaders.  Users must
lie low to kill: their cause is just.

Then Nemesis divides to leave
drone-victims for both sides to grieve.

This is a very interesting subject and I like what you've done, but feel like the effort to produce the rhymes gets in the way of a much more direct and more vivid rendering.  Like your poem Eye of Ajax. https://www.pigpenpoetry.com/thread-23888.html

Admittedly, I've never been a fan of rhyme.  So take my comment with that in mind.

TqB

Maybe if the lines were a bit longer, and the rhymes didn't come so quick........