Fogwood [edit3]

[Knot]

Hi duke,
two niggles,
firstly, surely you're missing a comma after March?
And two, there seems to be a disconnect between 'float' and 'fountaining'/'cascaded' ... or am I missing something?

Just a thought

March, Carolina dogwoods
burst, popcorn-blossomed,
between dew-grassed earth
and balmy sailcloth sky

also
...
nourishing, afresh,
...

?

Best, Knot


PS Is it only me that's drawing an ejaculation inference from 'whiteful joy'?
Probably shouldn't have asked.