Fragrance To Keep

[TranquillityBase]

Ravenous passions keep my ignorance at bay.
My love is an emotion from which I cannot stray.
Tempted to hold in order to feel.
Love freely given is unnecessary to steal.
My eye strays not left nor right.
Looking at you is a heavenly sight.
If you're wondering my intentions let me put you to ease.
Your wish is my command. I live to please.

Hi MP,

Duke mentioned meter to go along with your rhyme.  I'm not much on rhyming, nor am I one to give advice on meter.  I'm pretty much a free verse guy.  But I'll just say, try reading your poem aloud.

Do you hear any music?  I think it's because, while your poem does a good job staying focused on your sweetheart, each line ends with a period, that, when I read it aloud, is like a thump, so the only music I hear is a kind of marching tune.  Not the rhythm you want for for a love poem 

I'd also say it needs more illustration.  It's all about feeling, but can you show some of those feelings in a more concrete way.  The line "My eye strays not left or right" is the kind of thing I mean.  More of that.

TqB