03-10-2024, 09:47 PM
Hi bryn.
yeah, most demanding/oblique lines. Thinking life, growing, changing of one thing into another
That much I got, what confused was alchemy (transmutation) to evolution (mutations of a different sort.) It felt contradictory.
not directly other than adding an emotional element. I noticed that as the loaves cool, the crust crackles which made me think of how an engine ticks as it cools - poetic license perhaps.
Perhaps, but it does feel a bit confused (or possibly confusing) ... perhaps it's the reference to a 'lover's' engine?
I made the line breaks where they felt natural not trying to keep to a form.
Might be worth having a go at a more formal arrangement, just to see what happens. I do think you set up an expectation and that the deviation from it is a bit jarring.
Best, Knot
.
yeah, most demanding/oblique lines. Thinking life, growing, changing of one thing into another
That much I got, what confused was alchemy (transmutation) to evolution (mutations of a different sort.) It felt contradictory.
not directly other than adding an emotional element. I noticed that as the loaves cool, the crust crackles which made me think of how an engine ticks as it cools - poetic license perhaps.
Perhaps, but it does feel a bit confused (or possibly confusing) ... perhaps it's the reference to a 'lover's' engine?
I made the line breaks where they felt natural not trying to keep to a form.
Might be worth having a go at a more formal arrangement, just to see what happens. I do think you set up an expectation and that the deviation from it is a bit jarring.
Best, Knot
.