03-08-2024, 11:57 PM
Hi bryn,
nice idea, but it seems overwritten (a timer signalling time? and 'the' feels overused, lines 25-7 especially.)
Also, why not dimeter all the way through? Seems careless when that changes.
knowing
the biology
the chemistry
doesn’t lessen
the craving of
mystery
alchemy
of mixing
flour, salt,
water again
awakening
the evolution
of one to another. .......... don't understand this at all.
born
skin too thick
with heat
already
softening
lean in
and listen
to the crackling
ticking
of the lover’s engine ........ like this, but how does it relate to loaves/baking?
resting
after coming
home
scent
of earth and sea
still too
hot I wait.
Best, Knot
.
nice idea, but it seems overwritten (a timer signalling time? and 'the' feels overused, lines 25-7 especially.)
Also, why not dimeter all the way through? Seems careless when that changes.
knowing
the biology
the chemistry
doesn’t lessen
the craving of
mystery
alchemy
of mixing
flour, salt,
water again
awakening
the evolution
of one to another. .......... don't understand this at all.
born
skin too thick
with heat
already
softening
lean in
and listen
to the crackling
ticking
of the lover’s engine ........ like this, but how does it relate to loaves/baking?
resting
after coming
home
scent
of earth and sea
still too
hot I wait.
Best, Knot
.