03-02-2024, 08:29 AM
Hey Tranquil, on my first read I didn't like 'cloud caverns' - but after thinking on it a bit, I like it because it sort of makes you wonder what is happening in the clouds.
I like the punctuation better in the first version (but the edit is much improved imo). I would have it like this if it were mine:
North winds like a tide
sky a stream of cloud caverns.
Winter dusk, alone.
----
I enjoyed it.
I like the punctuation better in the first version (but the edit is much improved imo). I would have it like this if it were mine:
North winds like a tide
sky a stream of cloud caverns.
Winter dusk, alone.
----
I enjoyed it.