10-17-2023, 09:07 AM
(10-17-2023, 08:32 AM)Lizzie Wrote: I find you persuasive enough to lop them off like a bad appendage.I agree about chopping the end lines. I'm not sure about "artless" but an allusion to the father figure experiencing some form of temptation of his own might add texture.
I like the progression as well, but there's still an artlessness that must be addressed.
