You wear it well

[bob@mancity.net]

1697046432[/url]']
Hi Bob. Welcome to the site. I will try to get you started with some first thoughts.

1697032284[/url]']
Rod Stewart

This was a day I remember
we were playing “You wear it well”
An idea popped into my head,
and the story I will tell.

I asked John to get his pen out
he found one and got his pad.
I said let’s write the words down,
he said we must be mad.

We lifted the needle on the LP
to the start of this wonderful song.
he wrote down the first line,
didn’t realise it was so long.

We took turns at lifting the needle
and writing the words on the pad.
When we finished it, we were happy,
we sang it and it didn’t sound bad.

It took us quite a long time
but didn’t matter, we were having’ fun.
We’d leave our house in Duke Street.
to enjoy the Padstow sun.

“Madame Onassis got nothing on you”
we’d sing at the top of our voice.
We had to do it justice,
as we felt we had no choice.

We’d made some tasty homebrew
and were as drunk as we could be.
We’d have a go at another next day,
The Who’s record, I’m Free.

We played these records very loud.
and Phil would come in and say.
“At least it’s not bloody Slade”,
and next day we’d do Maggie May.

Never a dull moment
we really loved that LP.
And “You wear it well”,
as always meant much to me.

last year saw Rod for the first time
and a tear came to my eye.
When he sang “You wear it well”,
and fifty years had gone by.

Positives:

I liked the story, and story telling can be half the battle.
You include some engaging details
The poem appears to be aware of meter if not perfect

Negatives:

The punctuation needs attention - yes, it can be hard work
There are too many throwaway lines, whether to complete a rhyme or fill space. 
Ask yourself if the lines that rhyme reveal as much as those that don't. Do they serve a purpose other than the rhyme?

Thank you Tiger
very grateful 

i will look at it again
it’s a true story back in early 70’s
originally meant for just me 

But i’ve gone on to enjoy the process
i will work on improving it
thank you 
Bob