Alien

Hello There, Guest! Register

WILL ALL MEMBERS PLEASE GIVE FEEDBACK BEFORE POSTING A POEM IN ANY OF THE MAIN WORKSHOPS.

Alien

Lizzie Offline

Offline

Exalted Otter

Posts: 598
Threads: 83
Joined: Apr 2016

#8

09-19-2023, 09:50 AM

Revision is up. Quix: I'm giving the pantoum one more try. I'll break it up as you suggested if necessary.

Duke: I tried to fix the excessive I-ness of the voice.

A fair amount of the original has been chopped -- please let me know if I've cut away any good bits. I can always add another stanza.

Thanks again for the crits. Thumbsup

Thumbsup

Reply

« Next Oldest | Next Newest »

Messages In This Thread

Alien - by Lizzie - 08-10-2016, 05:31 AM

RE: Extraterrestrial -- for crit - by Quixilated - 08-11-2016, 08:36 AM

RE: Extraterrestrial -- for crit - by Lizzie - 08-11-2016, 08:45 AM

RE: Alien -- for crit - by Achebe - 08-11-2016, 09:53 PM

RE: Alien -- for crit - by Lizzie - 08-14-2016, 03:57 AM

RE: Alien - by dukealien - 08-15-2016, 11:32 AM

RE: Alien - by Lizzie - 08-16-2016, 08:05 AM

RE: Alien - by Lizzie - 09-19-2023, 09:50 AM

RE: Alien - by Mark A Becker - 09-19-2023, 10:38 AM

RE: Alien - by brynmawr1 - 09-19-2023, 10:58 AM

RE: Alien - by RiverNotch - 09-22-2023, 06:40 PM

RE: Alien - by rowens - 09-25-2023, 11:45 AM

RE: Alien - by Lizzie - 09-28-2023, 07:44 PM

RE: Alien - by carl griffin - 10-05-2023, 12:12 AM

RE: Alien - by Lizzie - 10-06-2023, 02:33 AM

Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)