The Third & Fourth Generation

[TranquillityBase]

The Third & Fourth Generation
       ~Numbers 14:18

Grandpa drove north in early summer,
never calling ahead.
He'd surprise us with late evening arrival,
expecting dinner.
Mom would make him another—
that's how she was raised.

His dad left him without any warning
when he was seven.
His grandmother fed him without complaint—              just fed him?  this section seems too abbreviated, surely she felt more about him than this.
that's how she was raised.

His grandfather's closest friend was opium.
They bonded during the civil war
over rifle fire and a shattered leg
that never fully healed.
They swapped war stories in silence
of the departed who wouldn't die.
It vanished in 1906,
pulled from the drug store's shelves.

He wept to his wife too many times,
and she told him, "Just go ahead
and do it already."                                   Something about grandma's response sounds too modern to my ear
Grandpa found him the next morning
hanging by his neck from a cross-beam in the barn.

Grandpa would start wearing sweaters
the last week of August.
My brother and I would wake unaware
to a crisp, windy morning—
mom's face left behind to tell us
that he drove south during the night.

That's how he raised us, with unsparing rod:  "unsparing rod" seems too much, it's not so much punishment he inflicted, but his uncertain coming and going
grandfathers vanish, so don't ever care.  This is the only time the author makes a statement of response, so it does seem to just be hanging out there.


P.S.

 I'm slightly unhappy with the piece, and I don't know why.   I think it's an excellent poem aside from my suggestions above.  Last lines are problematic, so maybe a more full fledged final stanza.

Perhaps it's too whiny at the end?  I don't hear it as whiny.  But he didn't exactly raise you, he just made sporadic, somewhat mysterious visits.

Does it read like prose? Not to me.  I like each stanza and the progression of the story.  Second and fourth stanza and ending could use some work, some elaboration.  I think the other stanzas are strong and invite rereading.