Within Reach

[brynmawr1]

Within Reach

I’ve walked down many paths-
called some of them my own-
now watch as scavenging angels     the transition between L1-2 and L3-4 reads like there was more between them that provided more context on how we got from 'paths' to scavenging angels
pick on exposed bone.   'hungry for'?  covet?

I move on as they circle
more, and more alone-
unsteady legs uncertain           shaking, or some personification about being uncooperative, maybe?
on the way back home.           a little implied, syllable place holder?

The stone I find most precious
I skip across the creek, then
see a fish there jump, and almost        this is my favorite stanza for the imagery
hear it speak.

As I keep along the trail, it’s so
silent, nearly still, I watch
a red fox come and go,
and wonder how long I will.


Some nights I toss, and turn 
awake, just like an old man does,     I think you did a good job using punctuation and enjambment to avoid the cliche.  any?
yet I’ll reach out until I shake           'I'll reach out' has to be set up earlier in the poem for these last two lines to really get maximum punch IMO
the Hand that gathers dust.

Hi Mark,

I had to read this many times before picking out these minor suggestions.  that is to say it read well but some minor things stood out after a bit.
Thanks for the read,
steve