Shaping the future

[Lizzie]

Hi, Keith! Good to see you posting! Lots to like here. 

We sat opposites at a bay window table   
waiting for breakfast after the bed -- Clever wordplay acknowledged 
and for me to speak. 
The anaglypta walls still hung to the 70's -- The specificity is good here with anaglypta. I had to google the word, but it says so much about the atmosphere. This with the old rose give the place kind of a quaint, tacky feeling. Like maybe the establishment's best days are behind it, tying into the ending. 
as did the wipeable surfaces. -- I don't think that wipeable is right here. It's very clinical compared to the whimsical descriptions elsewhere. 
   
Each setting had an earthenware vase -- I'm struggling a bit with earthenware. I don't hate it, but it can be glazed or unglazed, come in any variety of patterns, etc. Makes the image fuzzy. 
with a single dusty silk rose -- Lovely detail. Adds a feeling of sadness, of something neglected or out-dated. Also seems to imply that the decorating staff is being a little lazy or cheap. 
that made me think of teeth -- I read this as meaning that the rose used to be white and is now yellowed with age. Clever. 
and castanets. I made myself laugh 
but only inside. 
 
You were avoiding eyes     
as I closed one and lined   
the curve of the vase   
with the sweep of your hair,   
it was a perfect match. -- There's a whimsy and curiosity in the narrator's perspective, contrasted with a seriousness in the other person. I like the detail of the narrator avoiding speech and the other person avoiding eye contact. It's also notable that the narrator is portrayed as being kind of silly and creative -- there's a playfulness to the associations that feels like the narrator is kind of a big kid or a little young-at-heart. This contrasts with the aging decor and the austerity of the other person.    
 
I thought about telling you -- This is the part that feels the saddest to me, both that the characters couldn't find a way to connect, but also that these little details could only be observed by the narrator. 
but I knew the silence   
was carrying our bags to the car -- Love the personification of the silence. It's surprising the way it comes around the corner, but it's not jolting. Nicely done. 
and eventually out of our home,   
I took a piece of fruit for the journey.   
 
I found it months later rolling around   
the cars footwell, it had lost it's shine. -- I'd either use a semi-colon or an em dash between 'footwell' and 'it.' I'm torn about the ending. The poet in me understands what you're trying to signify, that the life had gone out of the relationship (and maybe it isn't missed), but the pedantic part of me says that it's not a revelation that food rots. I also feel like something losing it's luster is a bit of a stock image/phrase. It's not bad, but it doesn't quite bring home the ending for me. 

My top line advice is to go through each line and see if you can be a little bit more specific with some of the imagery and make sure that every detail is packing the right amount of punch.

Overall, it's a pleasing Keith write, as Keith writes usually are.