08-27-2023, 01:53 AM
Lizzie,
Thank you for your feedback! I did my best to address what I could. I tried breaking up the second stanza into separate sentences. It still kinda reads like one sentence altogether, but it may or may not be just my bias as the author. As for a better verb to replace "tiredly blinks", I couldn't find one that succinctly describes the action so I just settled for placing tiredly in front of the verb.
The title is a nod to the gas company. I'm wondering if I should re-title as "Shell plc" or if it would be too on the nose.
Best,
AR
Thank you for your feedback! I did my best to address what I could. I tried breaking up the second stanza into separate sentences. It still kinda reads like one sentence altogether, but it may or may not be just my bias as the author. As for a better verb to replace "tiredly blinks", I couldn't find one that succinctly describes the action so I just settled for placing tiredly in front of the verb.
The title is a nod to the gas company. I'm wondering if I should re-title as "Shell plc" or if it would be too on the nose.
Best,
AR