05-25-2010, 11:49 AM
Reminds me of that song, "I'm a lonely little petunia" (might be mistaken with the title) 
You have an informal rhyme going on in this. I think you could improve this by slightly altering the fourth stanza so its rhythm will complement the rhythm of the third stanza... not perfectly, but just enough to maintain that rhythm. Otherwise, this is nice
You have an informal rhyme going on in this. I think you could improve this by slightly altering the fourth stanza so its rhythm will complement the rhythm of the third stanza... not perfectly, but just enough to maintain that rhythm. Otherwise, this is nice
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?