Who Are You?

[alonso ramoran]

Hi Lizzie,

I agree with others that your poem could benefit a lot from switching out the title for something with a more subtle alice reference. Overall I enjoyed the read! Some line-by-line below.

It was dark inside the rabbit hole. 
People calling out above with questions,
urging me to climb the crumbling wall.
They are multiplying like mosquitoes I like this line because it makes me wonder if the N is being bitten by mosquitoes in the rabbit hole which is why they makes this comparison

pacing over window screens at night— "pacing" coming right after mosquitoes sounds wrong. could another more flexible verb replace it to refer to both mosquitoes and the people above?
strange like clock alarms in sleep, becoming
detail for the story of the dream, love the comparison of their voices to alarm clocks and how the N elaborates on the comparison
never sharp enough to pierce the bubble.

Faces try to catch me with their eyes; neat phrasing
gazes pulling, drawing up their baskets.
Who decides what happens next? The wall the baskets/happens slant rhyme makes this enjoyable to read aloud
slicks with rain, and nightfall's asking questions. same for happens/questions

Quiet settles like a gentle smoke. while "gentle smoke" is nice, it kind of feels like it was pulled out of nowhere, unless I'm missing something
Maybe there's no bottom, only center?
Alice says the best way out is through—
take my hand and we'll fall down together. This is the first time the N refers to the R directly in the poem and I'm not sure who the R is supposed to be. I didn't know I was also in the rabbit hole with the speaker, so maybe if you were to include a detail that clarifies this earlier in the poem it would be a little less jarring.

Thank you for sharing,
AR