Ruminations on the Sea(more tweaks)

[Mark A Becker]

Thanks for coming back to comment again. I have ignored your suggestion to leave it alone, maybe at my peril.  This is the dangerous time when I start to over think the poem.  The saving grace is that the original will always survive somewhere!
 I think I agree about shores.  I was also thinking about 'hungry' to replace 'chasing'.  My only issue with 'ebbing' is that I am referring to the fact that there are two high tides per day, one when the moon is overhead and again when it's on the other side of the earth.  We'll see what other suggestions might pop up.
Thanks again,
steve

Hi Steve,
I think the changes you've made are fine (except for 'stones').

I also think that if you can work out the last stanza you'll get there.  In this poem I see the sea as a masculine element, and the moon as a feminine element. That is why I suggested 'ebbing', to describe the ebb and flow of relationships, which is what I think you're going for here, with the strong metaphors you present. 

That said, it is your poem, and I think you are close to working it out.

-Mark