Ruminations on the Sea(more tweaks)

[brynmawr1]

Ruminations on the Sea
 
How I admire your singularity
of purpose; your timeless hurling
against rock and sand and I wonder
 
is it only the whip of a goading wind
that quickens your curling hands
to pummel these innocent stones? 'shores' I think was the better word choice
 
For I hear within your righteous roar
the counter rhyme of a retreating
sigh; the curse of forever 
 
chasing a silver heart  I really believe that the Moon was a very important element, as it controls the tides
that spurs your surge in her coming, accents fall harder to imply surging if you leave out "you in"
your ebbing again as she goes. accents trailing off to imply ebbing, which I added

some word suggestions after 'forever':

at the mercy of
in thrall to

a demanding Moon
a ruthless Moon
an aloof Moon
a steely Moon

Hi Mark,

Thanks for coming back to comment again. I have ignored your suggestion to leave it alone, maybe at my peril.  This is the dangerous time when I start to over think the poem.  The saving grace is that the original will always survive somewhere!
 I think I agree about shores.  I was also thinking about 'hungry' to replace 'chasing'.  My only issue with 'ebbing' is that I am referring to the fact that there are two high tides per day, one when the moon is overhead and again when it's on the other side of the earth.  We'll see what other suggestions might pop up.
Thanks again,
steve