Ruminations on the Sea(more tweaks)

[brynmawr1]

The Moon feels more distant without the cold. The lines more solemn.
Really, you don't need Moon. You could say

chasing a heart
that spurs you in your surge
first in her coming, again as she goes.

---

I kept seeing with my "inner eye": these innocent stones.
Even: marvelous roar. I know the meaning of your counter rhyme, but still.
As for the lack of comma after surge, you can get away with things like that with line breaks in poems. And it links the surging with the coming and going. So near, so far.

Hi Rowens

Thanks again for your helpful comments.  I see what you mean about cold and moon.  I've also never really liked malevolent either as it doesn't fit the mood well.  Made some of the changes you suggested and some others of my own.